Artemis' Band Parodies
by Artemis J. Halk
Summary: ...Guess what? I've spent fifteen to many hours in front of a computer, and now, you'll all pay! Evil laugh! Random band parodies of Christmas songs, popular songs and Disney songs.
1. Join Our Band

Join Our Band

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast

Band Director:

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride

and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.

And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a

chair as the band program proudly presents - your

show!

Join our band!

Join our band!

Put our music to the test

Slip your neck-strap 'round your neck, cherie

And we provide the rest!

Jazz, maybe blues,

New Christmas tunes for you,

Honey, we only live to perform!

Try the new funk, it's delightful

Don't believe me? Ask the flutes!

They can sing,

They can play,

After all, Miss, this is band!

And a show here is never second best,

Go on, unfold your program

Take a glance and then you'll

Join our band!

Oui, our band!

Join our band!

Beethoven

Mozart and Funk with

Blues and jazz just for you!

We'll prepare and perform with flair

An orchestra cabaret!

You're alone,

And you're scared

But the performance's all prepared

No one's gloomy or complaining

While the trumpets entertaining

We tell jokes,

I do tricks,

With my fellow clarinets!

Tubas:

And it's all in perfect taste,

That you can bet!

All:

Come on and lift your flute

You've won your own free pass

To Join our band!

BD:

If you're stressed,

It's fine music we suggest!

All:

Join our band,

Join our band,

Join our band!

BD:

Life is so unnerving

For a band nerd who's not playing

He's not whole without a soul to play to!

Ah, those good old days when we were good,

Suddenly those good old days are gone

Ten weeks we've been rusting

Needing so much more than dusting

Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills

Most days we just lay around the band room,

Flabby, fat and lazy

You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

First Chair Flute:

Join our band!

Join our band!

Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!

Reed's been opened and thank the Lord

I've had the music freshly printed!

With jazz,

She'll want funk

And my dear that's fine with me!

While the saxes do their soft squeaks

I'll be trilling, I'll be blowing,

I'll get us warmed up,

Piping hot!

Heaven's sakes! Is that a sharp?

Fix it up! We want the band nerd impressed!

We've got a lot to do

Is it one song or two

For you, our nerd?

All: Join our band!

First Flute: Join our band!

All:

Join our band!

Join our band!

Our command is your request

It's ten weeks since we had anybody here

And we're obsessed

With your enjoyment,

With your ease

Yes, indeed, we aim to please!

While the candlelight's still glowing

Let us perform for you,

We'll keep going!

Song by song

One by one

'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"

Then we'll sing you off as you leave!

Tonight you'll prop your feet up

But for now, let's play it up!

Join our band!

Join our band!

Join our band!

Please, join our band!


	2. Everybody Wants To Be A Nerd

Everybody Wants To Be A Nerd 

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Everybody Wants To Be A Cat" from The Aristocats

Everybody wants to be a nerd,

because a nerd's the only nerd

who knows where it's at.

Everybody's pickin' up on that nerdy beat,

'cause everything else is obsolete.

Now a note with a horn,

can make you wish you weren't here,

ever'time he plays;

and with a sax in the act,

he can set music back

to the Mozart days.

I've heard some orc dorks who tried to sing,

but a nerd's the only nerd

who knows how to swing.

Who wants to dig

a long-haired dork

or stuff like that?

When everybody wants to be a nerd.

A beat with that horn,

makes you wish you weren't here,

ever'time he plays;

and with a sax in the act,

he's gonna set this music back

to the Mozart days.

Everybody wants to be a nerd,

because a nerd's the only nerd

who knows where it's at;

while playin' jazz you always has a Welcome mat,

'cause everybody digs a swingin' nerd.

Everybody digs a swingin' nerd.


	3. Groovy!

Groovy Band Song!

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Groovy!" from Card Captor Sakura

Let's go out to the game. It's just gloomy being by yourself.

You get caught in an endless loop of depression which troubles you ah all the more.

Let's march outside. There's no need to worry.

The music has been playing since long, long ago.

And I'm sure the sounds will keep playing too.

Brand-New Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

Everyone, let's just go wild and march on over!

Simple routine, routine feelings

There will always be something you have to protect.

Looking out over the field... Trumpets and Pics are the gateway to the future

Let's search out under cover.

This world is a band heaven.

Let's march off together, let's do something fun.

The practices have been ending and the season has been going on ever since long ago

The season will definitely go on

Groovy Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

Let's forget the bad scores and just love each other.

Sympathetic status quo, firm friendship

There will always be times when you will have to march.

Marchin' in the street

Groovin' to the light of the stadium

Brand-New Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

Everyone, let's just go wild and march on over!

Groovy Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

Let's forget the bad scores and just love each other.

Brand-New Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

Let's march for tomorrow

Groovy Band Song Halle, hallelujah!

There will always be times when you will have to march.

Let's be kind to each other

Let's be accepting...

Let's be kind to each other

Let's be accepting...

Let's be kind to each other


	4. In The Sunlight

In The Sunlight

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Princess Mononoke Theme" from Princess Mononoke

In the sunlight,

We feel your gaze,

Steady as the drummers beat.

In the sun's bright light,

You looked at us,

Nobody knows your heart.

When the show is done, you see us,

Gross, hot, and sweating, but proud.

Like the sound of a flute, so soft, yet so sure,

Nobody knows your heart.

All of your pleasure, pride and joy,

Locked away in the score of the time.

Your secret heart,

Belongs to the world,

Of the things that march in the show.

Of the things that play in the show.

This Band Parody is dedicated to my marching band director. You know who you are.


	5. Reflection

Reflection (Flautist Version)

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Reflection" from Mulan

Look at me

You may think you see who I really am

But you'll never know me.

Ev'ry day

It's as if I play a part

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the band

But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now

In a band where I have to hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow

I will show the band,

What's inside my heart

And be loved for who I am.

Who is that girl I see

Staring, straight back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm

A flautist for all time?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly

That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think…?

How we feel…?

Must there be a secret me

I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm

A flautist

For all time.

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

Look at me

I will never pass for a perfect musician

Or a perfect flautist

Can it be

I'm not meant to play this part?

Now I see

That if I were truly to be myself

I would break my band's heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight

Back at me?

Why is my reflection someone

I don't know?

Somehow I cannot hide

Who I am

Though I've tried

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

* * *

This song touches me in a way that I'm sure not many people know about. You see, I started playing the flute when I was in fourth year, back when clicks and popularity was something that your elder siblings talked about. When I started in junior high, clicks and popularity started to spread like wildfire, and that's when I noticed that the general click for the flute section was a "preppy bitch." (Most generally, not all!)

Tired of being the black sheep among whites (as the saying goes), so I found my heard of black sheep! I'm still half-hiding with the white sheep, but I'm slowly but surly breaking out now! Whoo! Go saxophones!!!!!


	6. Deep Scores

Deep Scores

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Fuki Mori/Deep Forest" from InuYasha

I'm sure that the band I left behind

still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, hard music.

Exhausted, without the strength to march

members vanish into the infinite darkness.

If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?

As we live on,

we lose a little bit more.

Shrouded in scores and awards,

we stand frozen to the field, unable to play out

The scores pass by and change,

without us even realizing how green the field really is.

Overcoming that made-up score, we live the show,

and our rusted instruments begin to play again!

If we can find the rhythm of song, we can win once again

We live our music

marching to the ends of the show.

Believing (in you?), now I begin the show with you,

in search of the light.

We live our music

marching to the ends of the show.

Closing off

the way back,

we march on for eternity.

We march our show standing frozen to the field,

unable to play out, for eternity...


	7. A Band Nerds Life For Me

A Band-Nerd's Life For Me

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "A Pirates Life For Me" from Pirates of the Caribbean Ride

Wo ho, wo ho, a band-nerd's life for me.

We march, we parade, we play, and toot,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

We preform and cheer and don't give a squeak,

Horns up me 'erdies, wo ho.

Wo ho, wo ho, a band-nerd's life for me.

We blast, we bang, we clang, and Wang,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

Melophones and clarinets, and even sometimes the barri!

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

Wo ho, wo ho, a band-nerd's life for me.

We have pics and chicks, flags and flutes,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

We play up the crowd, we're really a sight,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

We're nerdy, sweating, obsessed, and players,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

We're tricky and black sheep, really good performers,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

Wo ho, wo ho, a band-nerd's life for me.

We're bangers and twirlers, crab-stepping lads,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

Aye, but we're loved by our band mummies and dads,

Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.

**Note**: In the line: 'Horns up, me 'erdies, wo ho.' 'erdies is Nerdies, but like in the song, with 'earties, which means Hearties. :D


	8. Band's High

Band's High

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Driver's High" from GTO

It heated up, my silver metallic horn

I'll light the stadium

I feel so high it's strange

Let's kick some butt

A reckless beat blends in with the squeaks

Before my eyes are the performers that seem like gods

My adrenaline's always flowin'

so it feels like it's me that's gonna overheat

Even if I explode and turn into ashes

I'll probably still be playing, just like this

Blowing past the field, until the ends of the show

Let's burn grass and end together like nerds;

C'mon, give me your horn!

Let's cut loose until we reach our limit

So we can reach the horizon

Woh! Crash! Into the rolling step

Blast! I'm in the coolest band's high

Towards the best finale! Yeah!

Soon enough

A pitch black morning will come when we'll just march out

Once you change into your school's uniform,

we'll be off!

Let's raise our pitch absurdly high

and break through the atmosphere

Woh! Crash! Into the rolling step

Blast! I'm in the coolest band's high

With silver horns

Let's keep marchin' through, until time runs out

'cause we're natural-born speed demons.

Woh! Crash! Into the rolling step

Blast! I'm in the coolest band's high

See ya again in the next season, Yeah!


	9. B A N D

B A N D

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "L O V E" by Nat King Cole

B is for the bad-ass band, that we are!

A is for the most awesome show ever!

N is No, we won't take their silly nonsense!

D is even more determined than you!

Band is all that I can give for you

Band is more than just a show for two

Two bands can make it

Take the score and please don't break it

Band was made for us and them

B is for the bad-ass band, that we are!

A is for the most awesome show ever!

N is No, we won't take their silly nonsense!

D is even more determined than you!

Band is all that I can give for you

Band is more than just a show for two

Two bands can make it

Take the score and please don't break it

Band was made for us and them

Band was made for us and them

Band was made for us and them


	10. You Don't Know What Music Is

B A N D

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "L O V E" by Nat King Cole

B is for the bad-ass band, that we are!

A is for the most awesome show ever!

N is No, we won't take their silly nonsense!

D is even more determined than you!

Band is all that I can give for you

Band is more than just a show for two

Two bands can make it

Take the score and please don't break it

Band was made for us and them

B is for the bad-ass band, that we are!

A is for the most awesome show ever!

N is No, we won't take their silly nonsense!

D is even more determined than you!

Band is all that I can give for you

Band is more than just a show for two

Two bands can make it

Take the score and please don't break it

Band was made for us and them

Band was made for us and them

Band was made for us and them


	11. I'm The Only Sane Band Nerd

I'm The Only Sane Nerd

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "I'm The Only Gay Eskimo" by Corky and the Juice Pigs

I'm the only sane nerd

I'm the only one I know

I'm the only sane band nerd in my class.

I go out parade marching with my best friend Melody,

but all she wants to do is sing bad band parodies!

I'm the only sane band nerd in my class.

Well, me and Nukflukchukbuk, we both like French Reeds

but she, she's got this crazy fetish for Russian Meads

I'm the only sane band nerd in my class

I make a wish on the Stadium Lights

that I can find a decent group of band friends.

I'm the only sane band nerd in my class

And the guard-girls they sing now (squealing sounds)

These hot Tuesday nights are taking their toll,

I even get excited when I see the Football team

See the Football team.

I'm the only sane nerd (only sane nerd)

I'm the only one I know (I'm the only one I know)

I'm the only sane band nerd in my class.

Who the hell gets excited over seeing the football team?!?!


	12. I'm Still Here

I'm Still Here

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "I'm Still Here" from _Treasure Planet_

I am a question to the band

Not a sound to be played

Or a moment that's held in the glory

And what do you think you'd ever do

I won't comply anyway

You don't know me

And I'll never do what you want

Me to do

And what

Do you think you'd ever do

I'm boy, no, I'm a nerd

You can't take me

And kick me out

And how

Can you learn what's never shown

Yeah, you march there on your own

They don't know me

'Cause I'm not there

Chorus

And I want a score to be real

Want to touch awards I don't feel

Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can the band want me to change

They're the ones that stay the same

They don't know me

'Cause I'm not there

And you see the scores they never see

All you wanted - I could be

Now you know me

And I'm not afraid

And I want to tell you who I am

Can you help me be a nerd

They can't trip me

As long as I know who I am

Chorus

And how can the band want me to change

They're the ones that stay the same

They can't see me

But I'm still there

They can't tell me who to be

'Cause I'm not what they see

Yeah, the band is still marchin' while I keep on hoping for me

And their sounds are just whispers and notes that I'll never believe

Chorus

And how can you say I'll never change

They're the ones that stay the same

I'm the one now

'Cause I'm still there

I'm the one

'Cause I'm still there

I'm still there

I'm still there

I'm still there

Note: In the 'I'm a a boy, no, I'm a nerd' line, boy can be exchanged for girl if you so desire.


	13. I'm Gonna Be A Nerd Someday

I'm Gonna Be A Nerd Someday

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "I'm Gonna Be A Wheel Someday" by Teresa James & The Rhythm Tramps

I'm gonna be a nerd someday

I'm gonna be somebody

I'm gonna be a real marcher

Then I won't want you

Everything's gonna go my way

I won't need nobody

I'm gonna be a real marcher

Then I won't want you

You can cry

After you lost lost lost, yeah

If you were wondering why I don't look at you

When I go marchin' by

I'm gonna be a nerd someday

I'm gonna be somebody

I'm gonna be a real marcher

Then I won't want you

Everything's gonna go my way

I won't need nobody

I'm gonna be a real marcher

Then I won't want you

You can cry

After you lost lost lost, yeah

If you were wondering why I don't look at you

When I go marchin' by

I'm gonna be a nerd someday

I'm gonna be somebody

I'm gonna be a real marcher

Then I won't want you

No I won't want you

Bet I won't want you

* * *

Chii is back! Whoo! Okay, so I am so excited for our season this year! It's called "City of Angels" which is apparently a Broadway musical or something, but it's really jazzy, and me... the smaxophonist... has jazzy parts! (Okay, I'm not _THE _saxophonist... just a... and a second one at that... T.T...) Woot! Go MHS!! 


	14. Melissa

Yes, I will take song requests. And if I think that I can turn it into a parody, I will post it up as soon as I can. Thank you!

* * *

Melissa

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Melissa" From FullMetal Alchemist

Cleave apart the scores of those faraway competions with your hands

End the breath of waiting

Come on, pierce through my chest made anxious by anticipation

Looking at the sky in which the tomorrow will come, I don't know what to do with my heart that is only lost

Friends by my side marched away- I wonder if they found enlightenment somewhere

Come now, won't you let me march by your side, too?

Then keep far away from the kindness that I deserted at the highest point

Cleave apart the scores of those faraway competions with your hands

End the breath of waiting

Come on, pierce through my chest made anxious by anticipation

I saw off friends into the dark evening, the wind strokes the me who merely crawls the ground

I won't say that I want dinkles; I want to become guard-flags dancing in midair, at least

I've already tried to keep standing many times

But that's probably not the answer, right?

'Cause then I won't go against this beat

Take the note with your hands, you won't be hesitating, right?

Even if you were wrong, if it seems that it'd never start again

Come on, end it with the sound of a band winning

A nerd that cannot be saved drifts and disappears

In the instant she vanishes, it shines faintly

Now, it creates a night with the stadium lights


	15. Next Stop State

Next Stop State

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Next Stop Heaven" by Nobody's Angel

I'm wide awake

But you've got me dreaming

Make no mistake

I love how I'm feeling

I can't believe

The spell that I'm under

You get to me

And boy it's no wonder

With your horn bleating next to mine

In perfect time

Boy you send me

First you get a little bit close to me

All you do is play and my knees get weak

Then you start playin' so soft and sweet

Next stop state

You know exactly where to begin

Every time you play your horn you make me march

Ooh baby baby do that again

Next stop state

You've captured me

without even trying

But I'm so free

It feels like I'm flying

I can't explain

Just how you do it

If states a game

I don't wanna lose it

With your horn bleating next to mine

In perfect time

Boy you send me

First you get a little bit close to me

All you do is play and my knees get weak

Then you start playin' so soft and sweet

Next stop state

You know exactly where to begin

Every time you play your horn me you make me march

Ooh baby baby do that again

Next stop state

Higher

Ooh baby only you take me

Higher

Come on baby now only you make me

Higher

Ooh baby only you take me

Higher

Let's go!

Let's go!

With you horn bleating next to mine

in perfect time

boy you send me

First you get a little bit close to me

All you do is play and my knees get weak

Then you start playin' so soft and sweet

Next stop state

You know exactly where to begin

Every time you play your horn me you make me march

Ooh baby baby do that again

Next stop state

Higher

Ooh baby only you take me

Higher

Note: This song ended up be a hell of a lot more dirty than the original... Gomen nee! Don't hurt me!

I am so excited for our show!! If anyone wants to see/hear the computerized version of our show, log onto www (dot) mesquitehighband (dot) com , and look under the marching band page. It's totally awsome! (There's a set that looks like a pair of panties!! Even one of our BD's calls it the underwear page!)


	16. I'm To Nerdy

I'm Too Nerdy

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred

I'm too nerdy for my band too nerdy for my band

Band's going to kick me out

I'm too nerdy for my shirt too nerdy for my shirt

So nerdy it hurts

And I'm too nerdy for the bus too nerdy

State and Area

And I'm too nerdy for your show

Too nerdy for your show

No way I'm high-stepping!

I'm a band-nerd you know what I mean

And I do my little march on the field

Yeah on the field on the field yeah

I do my little march on the field

I'm too nerdy for my car too nerdy for my car

Too nerdy by far

And I'm too nerdy for my hat

Too nerdy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a band-nerd you know what I mean

And I do my little march on the field

Yeah on the field on the field yeah

I do my little march on the field

I'm too nerdy for the too nerdy for the too nerdy for the

I'm a band-nerd you know what I mean

And I do my little march on the field

Yeah on the field on the field yeah

I do my little march on the field

I'm too nerdy for my cat too nerdy for my cat

Poor pussy poor pussy cat

I'm too nerdy for my love too nerdy for my love

Love's going to leave me

And I'm too nerdy for this song


	17. God Help the Band Nerds

God Help The Band Nerds

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "God Help The Outcasts" from Hunchback of Notre Dame

Dedicated to Mommy Rainer. May you always be watching us from your City of Angels.

_First Chair Flute_

I don't know if You can hear me

Or if You're even there

I don't know if You would listen

To a band nerd's prayer

Yes, I know I'm just a band nerd

I shouldn't speak to you

Still I see Your face and wonder

Were You once a band nerd too?

God help the nerds nerds

Hungry from practice

Show them the mercy

They don't find at school

God help my people

We look to You still

God help the band nerds

Or nobody will

_Rest of Band_

We ask for music

We ask for fame

We ask for glory to shine on our name

We ask for happiness we can posess

We ask for God and His nerds to bless us

_First Chair Flute_

I ask for nothing

I can get by

But I know so many

Less lucky than I

Please help my people

The nerdy and weird

I thought we all were

The band nerds of God

God help the band nerds

Band nerds of God


	18. World's Greatest Musican Mastermind

World's Greatest Musician Mind  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "The World's Greatest Criminal Mind" from The Great Mouse Detective

Director  
My friends, we are about to embark on the most  
odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme  
of my illustrious career. A show to top all show,  
a show that will live in infamy!

Tomorrow evening, our beloved band celebrates her  
fiftieth birthday. And, with the enthusiastic help of  
our good friend Dr. Beat, it promises to be a  
night she will never forget. Her last night, and my  
first, as supreme director of all nerd-dom!

From the brain that brought you the Big Ben's Boom  
The show that made heads turn in every stadium  
And wondrous shows like the Tower Bridge Show  
That cunning display that made the entire state a sob

Now comes the real tour de force  
Tricky and fast, of course  
My earlier shows were fine for their times  
But now that I'm at it again  
An even grimmer idea has been simmering  
In my great musician brain

Band  
Even harder?   
You mean it?  
Worse than the freshmen and guard girls you kicked out?  
You're the best of the worst around  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
The rest fall behind  
To Mr. Ratigan  
To Mr. Ratigan  
The world's greatest musician mind

Director  
Thank you, Thank you. But it hasn't all been  
cork-grease and valve oil. I've had my share of  
adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate  
composer, Basil of 16th School. For years, that  
insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans.  
I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, all  
that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even  
Basil, can stand in my way! All will stand before me!

Band  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
You're tops and that's that  
To Mr. Ratigan  
To Mr. Ratigan

Last Chair Looser Trumpet Player (You know who you are!)  
To Ratigan, the world's greatest ass!

Director  
What was that? What did you call me?

Trumpet Sectional Leader  
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, sir.

Second trumpet in command  
I-it was just a slip of the tongue.

Director  
I am NOT AN ASS!

Third trumpet  
'Course you're not. You're a director!

Fourth trumpet  
Yeah, that's right. Right! A director.

Fifth trumpet  
Yeah, a famous director!

Director  
SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that  
you've gone and upset me. You know what happens  
when someone upsets me.

Looser trumpet  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
You're the tops and that's that  
(Oh dear.)  
To Mr. Ratigan  
To Mr. Ratigan  
To Mr. Ratigan, the world's greatest -

Largest guy in band who's like 300+ pounds... -.-;;; (Once again, you know who you are...)  
CRASH!!!! (Smashes his head between two cymbals)

Director  
Oh, Kevin, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's  
little honey bun enjoy his tasty-?

Large guy  
Squeak (Cleaning off cymbals)

Director  
I trust there will be no further interruptions?  
And now, as you were singing...?

Band  
Even louder  
We'll still play it!  
No one can doubt what we know you can do  
You're more evil than even you  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
Oh, Mr. Ratigan  
You're one of a kind  
To Mr. Ratigan  
To Mr. Ratigan  
The world's greatest musician mind

Just a little on the creepy side how the BD was calling "Kevin" my "honey bun"... Twitch, twitch.  



	19. You Can March!

You Can March! You Can March! You Can March!  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "You Can Fly! You Can Fly! You Can Fly!" from Peter Pan

Think of the scores you've gotten  
Any merry little thought  
Think of state, think of the glow  
Think of sleigh bells Here we go!  
Like a DUI champ on the field

You can march! You can march!  
You can march! You can march!

Soon you'll march all around the field  
All it takes is faith and trust  
But the thing that's a positive must  
Is a little bit of band spit  
The spit is a positive must

You can march! You can march!  
You can march! You can march!

When there's a smile in your heart  
There's no better time to start  
It's a very simple plan  
You can do what the champions can  
At least it's worth a try

You can march! You can march!  
You can march! You can march!

So... if pixie dust makes you fly... and band spit makes you march... Spits on stupid freshies who can never march! Heh! Worth a try

I am also running out of good songs that I know. I will now be taking any requests!


	20. Flutes We Have Heard On High

This song marks the beginning of winter-holiday based parodies.

Flutes We Have Heard On High  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Angels We Have Heard On High"

Flutes we have heard on high  
Sweetly playing over the band  
And the trumpets in reply,  
Echoing their joyous strains.  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o

Marches, why this Jubilee?  
Why your joyous sounds prolong?  
What the gladsome tidings be  
Which inspire your heavenly song?  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o

Come to competion and see  
Him whose birth the angels play;  
Come, adore on bended knee  
Chris, the Leader,  
The newborn director  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o

See Him in a manger laid  
Rainer, Lord of band and marching!  
Drum Majors, lend your aid,  
With us sing our Savior's birth.  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o  
Mod-er-ato  
In piano play-o


	21. I'll Have A Blue Season

For Rainer.

I'll Have A Blue Season  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "I'll Have A Blue Christmas"

I'll have a blue season without you;  
I'll be so blue thinking about you.  
Instruments of gold  
On a green marching field  
Won't mean a thing if  
You're not here with me

I'll have a blue season, that's certain;  
And when that blue heartache starts hurting,  
You'll be doing all right  
With your season of white,  
But I'll have a blue, blue season.


	22. The Band Song aka Piccolos Roasting

The Band Song a.k.a. Piccolos Roasting on an Open Fire

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "The Christmas Song" a.k.a. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"

Piccolos roasting on an open fire

Your band friends nipping at your nose

Stand tunes being played by the band

And folks dressed up like band nerds.

Everybody knows a horn

And a little solo

Help to make the show even better

Tiny freshies with their eyes all aglow

Will find it hard to focus tonight.

They know that state's on its way

He's loaded lots of awards

And goodies on his podium

And every band nerd's child is gonna spy

To see if guard girls

Really know how to dance.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase

To nerds from one to ninety-two

Although it's been said

Many times, many ways

Good luck at state, to you.

A comment on the first two lines: I wish, and some of the people I know wouldn't be against tweaking your nose.


	23. Deck The Band Room

Deck The Band Room

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Deck The Halls"

Deck the halls with scores of music

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

'Tis the period to be happy

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Don we now our nerdy apparel

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.

Troll the ancient band-time song

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

See the hard music before us.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Play the horn and join the band.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Follow me in merry measure.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

While I tell of band-time seasons.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Fast away the old year passes.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Hail the new year, vets and freshies

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Play we joyous, all together.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Heedless of the wind and weather.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la


	24. Frosty the Band Nerd

Okay, first things first. I just wanted to thank everyone who has been reading, reviewing, and/or faving this "story."

Second, I'm running out of good songs that I know. If you know of a song that I haven't done yet and would like to see it pariodized (if that's even a word...), feel free to give me the title so that I can look at it for myself.

Hope that you enjoy the parody! --AJ

* * *

Frosty the Band Nerd

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Frosty The Snowman"

Frosty the band nerd was a jolly happy nerd,

With a corncob pic and a key-pad nose

And two eyes made out of valves.

Frosty the band nerd is a fairy tale, they say,

He was made of snow but the band nerds

Know how he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in that

Old shako they found.

For when they placed it on his head

He began to march around.

O, Frosty the band nerd

Was alive as he could be,

And the band nerds say he could march

And play just the same as you and me.

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look at Frosty go.

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Over the hills of music.

Frosty the band nerd knew

The sun was hot that day,

So he said, "Let's march and

We'll have some fun

Now before I melt away."

Down to the field,

With a baton in his hand,

Marching here and there all

Around the field saying,

Catch me if you can.

He led them down the yards of the field

Right to the drum major.

And he only paused a moment when

He heard him holler "Halt!"

For Frosty the band nerd

Had to hurry on his way,

But he waved goodbye saying,

"Don't you cry,

I'll be back again some day."

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look at Frosty go.

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Over the hills of music.


	25. Jingle Bells

For LittleMissTrumpetPlayer. :D

Jingle Bells

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Jingle Bells" (No duh there.)

Marching across the field

With a one-track mind

O'er the music we go

Laughing all the way

Bells in the pit ring

Making spirits bright

What fun it is to march and play

Our wonerderful show tonight!

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind

A hours or two ago

I thought I'd take a break

And soon Miss Fanny Bright

Was seated by my side

Her horn was lean and lank

Misfortune seemed his lot

We got into a drift of music

And then we got upset

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind yeah

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to march

With a one-track mind


	26. Thanks For The Scores

Thanks For The Scores

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Thanks For The Memories" by Fall Out Boy

I'm gonna make you bend and break

(It sends you to me without wait)

Say a prayer but let the good shows roll

In case God doesn't show

(Let the good shows roll, let the good shows roll)

And I want those Judges to make things right

But it's the goods that make the shows come to life

"Who does he think he is?"

If that's the best you got

Better put your fingers back to the keys

One night and one more show

Thanks for the scores

even though they weren't so great

"He sounds like you only better"

One night, yeah, and one more show

Thanks for the scores, thanks for the scores

"He, he sounds like you only better"

Been looking forward to the season

But my eyesight is going bad

And this crystal ball

It's always cloudy except for

When you look into the past (look into the past)

One stand tune (one night sound off)

One night and one more show

Thanks for the scores

even though they weren't so great

"He sounds like you only better"

One night, yeah, and one more show

Thanks for the scores, thanks for the scores

"He, he sounds like you only better"

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers

In box offices collecting page six scores

Get me out of my mind and get you out of that uniform

I'm a note away from getting you into the mood, whoa

One night and one more show

Thanks for the scores

even though they weren't so great

"He sounds like you only better"

One night, yeah, and one more show

Thanks for the scores, thanks for the scores

"He, he sounds like you only better"

One night and one more show (One more night, one more show)

Thanks for the scores

even though they weren't so great

"He sounds like you only better"

One night, yeah, and one more show (One more night, one more show)

Thanks for the scores, thanks for the scores

"He, he sounds like you only better"


	27. What Is Band?

What Is Band?

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "What Is Love?" by Haddaway

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

Oh, baby don't play it

Don't play it no more

What is band

Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there

I give you my music, but you don't care

So what is right and what is wrong

Gimme a note

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do

What else can I play, it's up to you

I know we're one, just me and you

I can't go on

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

Don't play it

Don't play it

I want no other, no other partner

This is your life, our period

When we are together, I need you forever

Is it band

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more (oooh, oooh)

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more

What is band

Oh baby, don't play it

Don't play it no more (oooh, oooh)

What is band?


	28. Miss Little Band Nerd

For Katarina Sparrow 19. Hope that you enjoy! 

Miss Little Band Nerd

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Miss independent" by Kelly Clarkson

Miss little band nerd

Miss self-sufficient

Miss keep up your step, mmmm

Miss unafraid

Miss out of my way

Miss don't let a beat interfere, no

Miss on her own

Miss almost graduated

Miss never let a met help her keep her beat

So, by keeping her heart protected

She'll never, ever feel rejected

Little miss apprehensive

Said ooh, she fell out of step

(Chorus)

What is this beat taking over?

Thinking no one could open the show

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

What happened to miss little band nerd's no longer need to be uniform?

Goodbye, old you, when music, is true

(Verse 2)

Misguided heart

Miss march it smart

Miss if you wanna play that line, you better be quick, no

But she miscalculated

She didn't wanna end up foolish

And this miss decided not to miss out on true passion

So, by changing an instrument

She went in a new direction

And found inside, she felt a connection

She fell out of step

(Chorus)

What is this beat taking over?

Thinking no one could open the show

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

What happened to miss little band nerd's no longer need to be uniform?

Goodbye, old you, when music, is true (when music, is true)

(Bridge)

When miss little band nerd marched away

No time for the music that came her way

She looked in the mirror and thought today

What happened to miss no longer afraid?

It took some time for her to see

How cool the season could truly be

No more talk of why can't that be us

I'm so glad I've finally seen

(Chorus)

What is this beat taking over?

Thinking no one could open the show

Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real

What happened to miss little band nerd's no longer need to be uniform?

Goodbye, old you, when music, is true (when music, is true)

Miss little band nerd

Okay, now I really have no more parodies or ideas. So, if you want to see another update, I'll need some song ideas that I can do. Please?


	29. Marching Queen

For LittleMissTrumpetPlayer. Enjoy:D

Marching Queen

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Dancing Queen" by Abba

You can march, you can play, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that show, dig in the marching queen

Friday night and the lights are high

Looking out for the place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come in to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young and the music's high

With a bit of band music, everything is fine

You're in the mood for a march

And when you get the chance...

You are the marching queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Marching queen, feel the beat from the timpani

You can march, you can play, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that show, dig in the marching queen

You're a player, you turn 'em on

Leave them burning and then you're gone

Looking out for another, anyone will do

You're in the mood for a march

And when you get the chance...

You are the marching queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Marching queen, feel the beat from the timpani

You can march, you can play, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that show, dig in the marching queen

Once again, if you want to see another update, I'll need some song ideas that I can do. Please? 


	30. Band Warp

For Shewhodanceswithdragons. 

Band Warp

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Time Warp" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

It's astounding, band is fleeting

Madness takes its toll

But listen closely, not for very much longer

I've got to keep control

I remember doing the Band Warp

Drinking those moments when

The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling

Let's do the band warp again...

Let's do the band warp again!

It's just a lean to the left

And then a step to the right

With your hands on your horn

You bring your knees in tight

But it's the high step that really drives you insane,

Let's do the Band Warp again!

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me

So you can't see me, no not at all

In another school, with voyeuristic intention

Well-sectioned, I see all

With a bit of a horn flip

You're there in the band slip

And nothing can ever be the same

You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation

Let's do the Band Warp again!

Well I was marching down the field just a-playing a tune

When a snake of a vet played me an evil note

He shook me up, he took me by surprise

He had a silver horn and the devil's fingers.

He stared at me and I felt a change

Band meant nothing, never would again

Let's do the Band Warp again!


	31. 500 Yards

For Shewhodanceswithdragons again. Enjoy!

500 Yards

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "500 Miles" by the Proclaimers

When I wake up well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who marches next to you

When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who goes along with you

If I get sick well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who gets sick next to you

And if I trip yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who tripped by you

But I would march 500 yards

And I would march 500 more

Just to be the nerd who marched 1,000 yards

To fall down on your field

When I'm practicing yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who's practicing hard for you

And when the scores comes in for the show I'll do

I'll pass almost every award on to you

When I come back oh I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who comes back to you

And if I graduate well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who's gonna graduate with you

But I would march 500 yards

And I would march 500 more

Just to be the nerd who marched 1,000 yards

To fall down on your field

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

When I'm lonely well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd whose lonely without you

And when I'm dreaming well I know I'm gonna dream

I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm practicing

When I go out well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who goes along with you

and when I come back yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the nerd who comes back with you

I'm gonna be the nerd who comes back with you.

But I would march 500 yards

And I would march 500 more

Just to be the nerd who marched 1,000 yards

To fall down on your field

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

na na na, na na na

na na na, na na na

lika lika lika lika lika la

But I would march 500 yards

And I would march 500 more

Just to be the nerd who marched 1,000 yards

To fall down on your field


	32. Marchin' In The Rain

For Shewhodanceswithdragons, once again.

Marcin' In The Rain

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Singin' In The Rain" by Frank Sinatra

Du Du Du Du Du Du Du Du Du

Du Du Du Du Du Du Du Du Du

I´m marchin´ in the rain

Just marchin´ in the rain,

What a glorious feeling,

And I´m happy again.

I´m laughing at the BD

So dark, up above,

The music´s in my heart

And I´m ready for action.

Let the guard girls chase.

Everyone from the place,

Come on with the rain

I have a smile on my face.

I´ll march down the yard

With a happy refrain

Just marchin', marchin' in the rain.

Playin' in the rain.

I'm happy again.

I'm marchin' and playin' in the rain.

Playin' and marchin' in the rain.


	33. Play Good Inc

Play Good Inc.

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Feel Good Inc." by the Gorillaz

Hahahahahahahahaha,

Shake it, sh-shake it Play good, x9

Band's breaking down on the freshies back.

They just have to go 'cause they don't know wack

So all you fill the fields it's appealing to see

You wont get out the elective, 'cos you're damn as free

You've got a new horizon It's ephemeral style.

A melancholy band where we never smile.

And all I wanna hear is the show tune play.

My dreams, they've got to kiss, because I don't get practice, no..

Andre, Andre for the band.

March forever hand in hand

Take it all in on your stride

It is flying, raising up

Music forever music is free

Let's march forever you and me

Andre, Andre for the band

Is everybody in?

Laughing gas these sophomores, fast feet,

Lining them up-a like yard lines,

Lay these horns at the track

Its my best-friend's attack.

Shit, I'm stepping out of time in this spot here

Guard girl bumping in the heart of this here

Watch me as I crab-step

Hahahahahahaa.

Yo, we gonna go their school,

This moschool,

With yo sound

You're in the place

You gonna bite the dust

Can't march with us

With yo sound

You kill the INC.

So don't stop, get it, get it

Until you're at the end.

Yo, watch the way I high-step

Hahahahahhaa

Play good, AHHHHahahahah x4

Andre, Andre for the band.

March forever hand in hand

Take it all in on your stride

It is flying, raising up

Music forever music is free

Let's march forever you and me

Andre, Andre for the band

Is everybody in?

Don't shout, get it, get it

We are your leaders in it

Steady,

Watch me high-step,

Ahahahahahhaa.

Don't shout, get it, get it

We are your leaders in it

Steady, watch me high-step

Ahahahahahhaa.

Play good, AHHHHahahahaha

Play good,

Play good, AHHHHahahahaha

Play good...


	34. Don't Cha

For LittleMissTrumpetPlayer.

Don't Cha

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Don't Cha" by the PussyCat Dolls (feat. Busta Rhymes)

BD

OK (ahh)

Yeah (ahh)

Oh, we about to get it just a lil hot and sweaty in this uniform (oh, baby)

Freshies let's go (uhh)

Leaders let's go (dolls)

Let me talk to y'all and just you know

Give you a little situation... listen (fellas)

Ya see this shit get hot

Everytime I come through when I step up in the spot (are you ready)

Make the place sizzle like a summertime band camp

Prowl for the best beat

Yes I'm on the lookout (let's march)

Slow banging shorty like a drummer with it

Smell good, pretty skin, so guard with it (oh, baby)

No tricks only music under my sleeve

Gimme the number

But make sure you call before you leave

Guard

I know you like us (I know you like us)

I know you do (I know you do)

That's why whenever we come around

They're all over you (they're all over you)

I know you want it (I know you want it)

It's easy to see (it's easy to see)

And in the back of your mind

I know you should be in the band (babe)

Chorus:

Don't cha wish your marching band was hot like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was strange like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?

Don't cha wish your marching band was raw like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was fun like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)

Leave it alone (leave it alone)

'Cause if it ain't fun

It just ain't enough to leave a happy band (a happy band)

Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)

You have to play fair (you have to play fair)

See we don't care

But we know they ain't gonna wanna share

Chorus:

Don't cha wish your marching band was hot like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was strange like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?

Don't cha wish your marching band was raw like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was fun like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?

BD

OK, I see how it's goin' down (ahh, don't cha)

Seems like they wanna little drum drum off or something (let's go)

Well let me get straight to it

Every nerd wan watch a drummer when I come through it

It's the god almighty, looking all brand new

If they wanna jump in my bus then vanquish

Looking at me all like she really wanna do it

Tryna play on it till my horns rusty an brokeish

Ya wanna play wit ah playa girl then play on

Strip out the library

And leave the originals in

Watch me and I'mma watch you at the same time

Looking at ya wan break my scores

You're the very reason why I keep a copy in my office

An wit the bus hit chu in the back of tha magnum

For the record, don't think it was something you did

They all on me cause it's hard to resist the geek

I got a idea cool dope for y'all

As y'all could get so I could hit the both of y'all

Guard

We know she loves you (We know she loves you)

We understand (I understand)

We'd probably be just as crazy about you

If you were my own band

Maybe next season (maybe next season)

Possibly (possibly)

Until then old friend

Your secret is safe with us

Chorus:

Don't cha wish your marching band was hot like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was strange like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?

Don't cha wish your marching band was raw like us?

Don't cha wish your marching band was fun like us?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?


	35. ESPN Channel

I give up trying to remember who requested this. I think that you know who you are.

ESPN Channel

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Discovery Channel" by Bloodhound Gang

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of marching

But there are several other very important differences

Between human beings and band nerds that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby band is a Texas drought

Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Artemis would parody about

So put your hands down my horn and I'll bet you'll feel spit

Yes I'm a judge, yes I'm Andre and you're getting a one plus

You've had enough of two-hand horn you want it rough you're out of bounds

I want you smothered want you covered like my band room floor dirty socks

Come quicker than the drumline never reach an apex like the guard season you are inclined

To make me rise an hour early just like marching season time

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Gettin' excited now

Love the kind you clean up with a met and practice

Like the lost secret show of England only God knows where we stuck it

Sousaphone? Let me be specific I wanna be down in your band field

But I got this notion that the motion of your show means 'Small Craft Advisory'

So if I fall down on your field grass high, 50 you tripped the guard girls

Please turn me on I'm mister metronome with an automatic beep

So show me yours I'll show you mine 'Tool Time' you'll love it just like Lyle

And then we'll do it crab style so we can both watch BOA finals

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Gettin' excited now

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Gettin' excited now

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but band nerds

So let's do it like they do on the ESPN Channel

Gettin' excited now


	36. Remember The Band

For my BD. Ha! Burn!

Remember The Band

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Remember The Name" by Fort Minor

You ready?! Lets go!

Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about

It's like this y'all (c'mon!)

Chorus

Music is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill

Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

And a hundred percent reason to remember the band!

Ron! - He doesn't need his name up in lights

He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the met

He feels so unlike everybody else, alone

In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him

But fuck em, he knows the beat

It's not about the scores

It's all about reality and making some noise

Makin the show - makin sure his section stays up

That means when he puts it down BD's pickin it up! let's go!

Who the hell is he anyway?

He never really plays much

Never concerned with status but still leavin them star struck

Humbled through solos and spots given to him despite the fact

That many misjudge him because he makes a livin from writin shows

Put it together himself, now the lines connects

Never askin for someone's help, to get some respect

He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach

And now when it all unfolds, the skill of a band nerd

It's just twenty percent skill

Eighty percent fear

Be one hundred percent clear cause Chris is ill

Who would've thought that he'd be the one to set the field in flames

And I heard him wreckin with The Crystal Piccolo, "Name Of The Song"

Came back dropped out of college, took em to school

I like Ron Nelson (1), why you have the stupidest shows?

This dude is the truth, now everybody be givin him guest solos

His stock's through the roof I heard he playin with S. Dot!

Chorus

They call him Ron The Sick

And he's spittin fire with Chris

Got him out the sun he's hot

Found him in Mesquite High with pics

Been a fuckin Hitler director

He's a prick, he's a cock

The type students want to kiss, and teachers hope he get fired

Twelve years in the makin, patiently waitin to show

Now the record with Shinoda's takin over the district

He's got a partner in crime, his show is equally cool

You wont believe the kind of music that comes out of this kid's horn

Bam! - He's not your everyday on the podium

He knows how to work with what he's got

Makin his way to the top

People think its a common directors game

People keep askin him was it given at birth

Or does it stand for an acronym?

No he's livin proof, Got him rockin the stadium

He'll get you buzzin quicker than a shot of Mountain Dew

Him and his band are known around as one of the best

Dedicated to what they doin give a hundred percent

Forget them - Nobody really knows how or why they work so hard

It seems like they've never got time

Because they write every note and they write every line

And I've seen them at work when that light goes on in their mind

It's like a design is written in their head every time

Before they even touch a key or play a note

And those motherfuckers they run with, those nerds that they signed?

Ridiculous, without even trying, how do they do it?!

Chorus - repeat 2x

(1)Two seasons ago (2006 season) we did a show by a local director, Ron Nelson. It was cool, concert band type of music, but it wasn't exactly music that you would take out onto the field to march to. Everyone hated that season- there were at least fifteen ineligible students that year. However, I missed like the last week and a half. I was so sick that year.

With the exception of the mention of Ron Nelson, any other Ron just mentioned is my BD and Chris was our other BD. We have a running love/hate relationship, can you tell?


	37. Band Man

Band Man

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Piano Man" by Billy Joel

Its six o'clock on a Tuesday

The regular crowd shuffles in

There's an old vet sitting next to me

Makin' love to his reed and keys

He says, son, can you play me a show tune?

I'm not really sure how it goes

But its bad and its fast and I knew it complete

When I wore a younger nerds uniform

La la la, de de da

La la, de de da da da

Chorus:

Play us a song, you're the band man

Play us a song tonight

Well, were all in the mood for a melody

And you've got us feelin' alright

Now Chris in the office is a friend of mine

He gets me my scores for free

And he's quick with a joke or to light up your day

But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says, Will, I believe this is killing me.

As the smile ran away from his face

Well I'm sure that I could be a band star

If I could get out of this place

Oh, la la la, de de da

La la, de de da da da

Now Ron is a real band director

Who never had time for a wife

And he's talkin with Davy who's still not in band

And probably will be for life

And the drum major is practicing salutes

As the drum line slowly get stoned

Yes, they're sharing a song they call loneliness

But its better than playing alone

Chorus

Its a pretty good crowd for a Tuesday

And the director gives me a smile

'Cause he knows that its me they've been comin to see

To forget about life for a while

And the band, it sounds like a carnival

And the metronome sounds like crap

And they sit in their seats and put music in the air

And say, man, what are you doin here?

Oh, la la la, de de da

La la, de de da da da

Chorus

* * *

Tomorrow marks the first day of my last band trip in high school. (Sob.) I'm going to Sea World!! :D

My internet/computer has been acting up lately, so don't fret if I don't update as frequently as I normally do... blame it on my crap-shoot computer. (Shifty eyes.)


	38. Part of that Band

For vague, hairbrained excuses, please refer to my profile. Any other excuse would be that my computer is being so (bleeped) up that it takes like five minutes to load one page. ONE!! (Pulls hair out in frustration.)

Anyways, I decided that I needed to put up some more chapters, and I was looking through the one's that I've already got up and the folder filled with all of the parodies that I've already done. It turns out that I've got 23 that I haven't even published yet! (Sweatdrop.) Of course... some of them I never will... Like a parody of Mr. Grinch's theme song (it was personalized for my BD) and Grandma got run over by a reindeer (again, for my BD)

So, read, then review and hope that I update soon. :D

* * *

Part of that Band

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid

Look at this stuff

Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the nerd,

The nerd who has ev'rything?

Look at this trove,

Treasures untold,

How many wonders can one band room hold?

Lookin' around here you'd think

(Sure) she's got everything.

I've got saxes and reeds aplenty,

I've got flutes and stands galore,

(You want sousamaphones?

I got twenty.)

But who cares?

No big deal

I want more.

I wanna be where the band nerds are

I wanna see

Wanna see 'em marchin'

Walkin' around on those

(Whad'ya call 'em?) oh – Dinkles!

Flippin' your music, you don't get too far

Dinkles are required for marchin', walkin',

Strollin' along down a

(What's that word again?) field.

Up where they march

Up where they parade

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wanderin' free

Wish I could be

Part of that band.

What would I give

If I could play

Outta this school?

What would I pay

To spend a day

Warm on the field?

Betcha in band,

They understand

Bet they don't reprimand their students,

Bright young band nerds,

Sick o' singin',

Ready to march

And I'm ready to know what the band nerds know

Ask 'em my questions

And get some answers

What's a shako and why is it

(What's the word?) lyre?

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love…?

Love to explore that band above?

Out of this school…

Wish I could be…

Part of that band!


	39. BAND

I just realized earlier this week that if I hadn't already graduated from HS in May, I'd be up at band camp right now. T.T (Is extremly sad now.) So... I hope that all of my friends (who didn't graduate yet) are having a blast this week. In the meantime...

* * *

B.A.N.D.

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "YMCA" by Village People

Young nerd, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young nerd, pick yourself off the field.

I said, young nerd, 'cause you're in a new band

There's no need to be unhappy.

Young nerd, there's a place you can go.

I said, young nerd, when you're short on your _adhrelihn_

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

They have everything for young nerds to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the vets ...

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

You can get yourself dirty, you can have a good meal,

You can do whatever you feel ...

Young nerd, are you listening to me?

I said, young nerd, what do you want to be?

I said, young nerd, you can make real your dreams.

But you've got to know this one thing!

No nerd does it all by himself.

I said, young nerd, put your score on the shelf,

And just go there, to the B-A-N-D

I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

They have everything for you nerds to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the vets ...

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

You can get yourself dirty, you can have a good meal,

You can do whatever you feel ...

Young nerd, I was once in your shoes.

I said, I was down and out with the beat.

I felt no one cared if I were alive.

I felt the whole world was so jive ...

That's when someone came up to me,

And said, young nerd, take a walk into that room.

There's a class there called the B-A-N-D

They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

They have everything for young nerds to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the vets ...

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

Young nerd, there's no need to feel down

Young nerd, pick yourself off the field

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

It's fun to be in the B-A-N-D.

Young nerd, are you listening to me?

Young nerd, what do you wanna be?

B-A-N-D

you'll find it at the B-A-N-D

no nerd, does it all by himself

young nerd, put your score on the shelf

B-A-N-D

then just go to the B-A-N-D

B-A-N-D

young nerd, I was once in your shoes

B-A-N-D

young nerd, I said, I was down and out with the blues.

B-A-N-D


	40. Hello Band Nerd

Hello Band Nerd

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Hello Beautiful" by Jonas Brothers

Hello Band Nerd

Hows it going

I hear its wonderful

At band camp

I've been missing you

Its true

And tonight, I'm gonna play

And tonight, Im gonna PLAY!

Cause I go across the season

And see everything, and never be satisfied

If I couldn't see that score

Hello Band Nerd

Its been a long time

Since my feet hurt

And you've been on that field

And I've been missing you

Its true

And tonight, I'm gonna play

And tonight, Im gonna PLAY!

Cause I go across the season

And see everything, and never be satisfied

If I couldn't see that score


	41. BandNerd Girl

Band-Nerd Girl A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk Based off of the song: ⌠Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Hi Band-nerd Hi drum-major!  
Do you wanna go for a ride?  
Sure drum-major!  
Jump In...

I'm a band-nerd girl, in the band world Life in band, it's fantastic!  
I can brush my hair, undress anywhere Imagination, band is our creation Come on band-nerd, let's go march!

I'm a band-nerd girl, in the band world Life in band, it's fantastic!  
I can brush my hair, undress anywhere Imagination, band is our creation

I'm a blond bimbo flute, in the marching band Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your nerdy You're my nerd, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in silver,  
Lead me here, show me where, hanky panky.  
You can direct, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a band-nerd girl, in the band world Life in band, it's fantastic!  
I can brush my hair, undress anywhere Imagination, band is our creation

Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)

Make me march, make me play, do whatever you please I can act like a star, I can play on my knees Come jump in, band friend, let us do it again,  
hit the field, play around, let's go march You can direct, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"  
You can direct, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a band-nerd girl, in the band world Life in band, it's fantastic!  
I can brush my hair, undress anywhere Imagination, band is our creation

I'm a band-nerd girl, in the band world Life in band, it's fantastic!  
I can brush my hair, undress anywhere Imagination, band is our creation

Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on band-nerd, let's go march!  
(uu-oooh-u)

Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
Well band-nerd, this is only the opener!  
Oh, I love band! 


	42. Boulevard of Broken Shows

Boulevard of Broken Shows A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk Based off of the song: ⌠Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day

I march a lonely line The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But its home to me and I march alone

I march this empty field On the Boulevard of Broken Shows When the stadium sleeps And I'm the only one and I march alone

I march alone I march alone

I march alone I march a...

My sections only one that marches beside me The dying metronomes the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Til then I march alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm marchin down the band That divides us somewhere in our mind On the border line Of the edge and where I march alone

Read between the music lines What's fucked up and everything's alright Check my tuning note And know I'm still in tune and I march alone

I march alone I march alone

I march alone I march a...

My sections only one that marches beside me The dying metronomes the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Til then I march alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I march alone I march a...

I march this empty field On the Boulevard of Broken Shows When the stadium sleeps And I'm the only one and I march a...

My sections only one that marches beside me The dying metronomes the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Til then I march alone 


	43. Bleeding Band

Bleeding Band A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk Based off of the song: ⌠Bleeding Love■ by Leona Lewis

Closed off from band I didn▓t need the pain Once or twice was enough And it was all in vain Time starts to pass Before you know it you▓re finished

But something happened For the very first time in it My heart melts into the field Found something true And everyone▓s looking round Thinking I▓m going crazy

But I don▓t care what they say I▓m in love with band They try to pull me away But they don▓t know the truth My horn▓s crippled by the valve That I keep on pressing You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding band Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear But they play so loud Their piercing sounds fill my ears Try to fill me with doubt Yet I know that the goal Is to keep me from failing

But nothing▓s greater Than the rush that comes with the finale And in this world of loneliness I see your face Yet everyone around me Thinks that I▓m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don▓t care what they say

I▓m in love with band They try to pull me away But they don▓t know the truth My horn▓s crippled by the valve That I keep on closing You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding band Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band You cut me open

And it▓s draining all of me Oh they find it hard to believe I▓ll be wearing this uniform For everyone to see

I don▓t care what they say I▓m in love with band They try to pull me away But they don▓t know the truth My horn▓s crippled by the valve That I keep on closing You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding band Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding band Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding band 


	44. All I Want For Christmas Is A Sousaphone

All I Want For Christmas Is A Sousaphone

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

Every body stops And stares at me

My tuba is as Gone as you can see

I don't know just who To blame for this catastrophe!  
But my one wish on Christmas Eve Is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas Is a sousaphone,  
A sousaphone,  
See a sousaphone!

Gee, if I could only Have a sousaphone,  
Then I could play you "Merry Christmas"  
It seems so long since I could play,  
"Mary Had A Little Lamb!"

Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,  
If I could only buzz (brrrrr)

All I want for Christmas Is a sousaphone,  
A sousaphone,  
See a sousaphone!  
Gee, if I could only Have a sousaphone,  
Then I could play you "Merry Christmas."


	45. Playback Girl

I know... I know... I epically fail at life. School killed me, and then I went on a Europe tour with a band... (Never... never... never... 36 flutes... *shutters and breaks down crying.*)

So, if anyone is still out there... *cries some more.*

* * *

Playback Girl

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani

*

Uh huh, this is my show

All the guard stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around this show

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Because I ain't no playback girl

I ain't no playback girl [x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my show, this my show [x4]

I heard that you were playing shit

And you didn't think that I would hear it

People hear you playing like that, getting everybody fired up

So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the band

Gonna get a good score, gonna take you out

That's right, put your flags and rifles downs, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around this show

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Because I ain't no playback girl

I ain't no playback girl [x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my show, this my show [x4]

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers

No directors,no drum-majors

Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one

So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you

That's right I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around this show

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Because I ain't no playback girl

I ain't no playback girl [x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my show, this my show [x4]

Let me hear you say this shit is trumpets

T-R-U-M-P-E-T-S

(This shit is trumpets)

(T-R-U-M-P-E-T-S)

Again

Let me hear you say this shit is trumpets

T-R-U-M-P-E-T-S

(This shit is trumpets)

(T-R-U-M-P-E-T-S)

A few times I've been around this show

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Because I ain't no playback girl

I ain't no playback girl [x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my show, this my show [x4]


	46. One Show

One Show

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "One Song" from Snow White

*

One show

I have but one show

One show

Only for you

One met

Tenderly beating

Ever entreating

Constant and true

One high

That has possessed me

One high

Thrilling me through

One show

My met keeps rhythm

Of one show

Only for you


	47. In This Band

In This Band

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Under The Sea" from the Little Mermaid

*

The field is always greener

At somebody else's school

You dream about joining their band

But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you

Right here on the band room floor

Such wonderful things surround you

What more is you lookin' for?

In this band

In this band

Darling it's better

Down where it's nerdier

Take it from me

At their school they work all day

Hidin' from the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to marchin'

In this band

Down here all the nerds is happy

As off through the roll-step they roll

The nerd at that school ain't happy

They sad 'cause they in their class

But nerd in that school is lucky

They in for a worser fate

One day when the boss get angry

Guess who's gon' be eatin' dirt!

In this band

In this band

Nobody beat us

Cook us or smoke us

In silly hats

We what the other school folks loves to play

In this band we off the hook

We got no troubles

Life is the bubbles

In this band

In this band

Since life is sweet here

We got the beat here

Naturally

Even the sousaphone an' the pic

They get the urge 'n' start to play

We got the spirit

You got to hear it

In this band

The noob play the flute

The soph's play the pic

The juniors play the bass

And they soundin' sharp

The tom-boys play the brass

The fit play the tuba

The brass is the duke of soul

(Yeah)

The man he can play

The pit on the strings

The guard girls rockin' out

The drum-major she sings

The drums and the cymbals

They know where it's at

An' oh that sousaphone blow

In this band

In this band

When the piccolo

Begin the untune

It's music to me

What do they got? A lot of bad rep

We got a hot marchin' band

Each little drum here

know how to jam here

In this band

Each little sophie here

Cuttin' a beat here

In this band

Each little freshie here

Know how to wail here

That's why it's hotter

Under into the music

Ya we in luck here

Down in the muck here

In this band


	48. I Wanna Be Like You

I Wanna Be Like You

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "I Wanna Be Like You" from The Jungle Book

*

Now I'm the king of the stringers

Oh, the orchestra VIP

I've reached the top and had to stop

And that's what botherin' me

I wanna be a nerd, band nerd

And stroll right down that field

And be just like the other nerd

I'm tired of strumin' around!

Oh, oobee doo

I wanna be like you

I wanna march like you

Play like you, too

You'll see it's true

A dork like me

Can learn to be buzzin' too

Gee, cousin Louie

You're doin' real good

Now here's your part of the deal, cuz

Lay the secret on me of nerd's success

But I don't know how to do it without my band!

Now don't try to kid me, band nerd

I made a deal with you

What I desire is nerd's success

To make my dream come true

Give me the secret, band nerd

Clue me what to do

Give me the power of nerd's success

So I can be like you

You!

I wanna be like you

I wanna play like you

March like you, too

You'll see it's true

Someone like me

Can learn to be

Like someone like me

Can learn to be

Like someone like you

Can learn to be

Like someone like me!


	49. Girl All The Band Nerds Want

Girl All The Band Nerds Want

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Girl All The Bad Boys Want" by Bowling For Soup

*

9 o'clock, Tuesday night and I'm waitin'

To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me.

Her name is Nona, she's a saxophonist with a nose ring,

She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means.

And when she marches,

All the horns blow and the guard sing.

She doesn't notice me!

Cause she is watchin' DCI

Creamin' over tough guys

Listenin' to cooler shows

Yardlines in her eyes

It's like a bad show

She is lookin' through me

If you were me, then you'd be

Screamin' "Someone trip me!"

As I fail miserably,

Tryin' to get the girl all the band nerds want.

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She likes the Blue Devils and I like Corona

Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their director

She says she'd like to score some cork grease and a reed

She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have

And when she marches,

All the horns blow and the guard sing.

She doesn't notice me!

Cause she is watchin' DCI

Creamin' over tough guys

Listenin' to cooler shows

Yardlines in her eyes

She likes 'em with a mustache

DCI season pass

Playin' on a Yamaha

Does a brand make a nerd?

It's like a bad show

She is lookin' through me

If you were me, then you'd be

Screamin' "Someone trip me!"

As I fail miserably,

Tryin' to get the girl all the band nerds want.

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

There she goes again

With section shirt on, and bobby pins in her hair

She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated

All I wanted was to see her naked!

Now I am watchin' DCI

Tryin' to be a tough nerd

Listenin' to cooler shows

Yardlines in my eyes

I can't grow a mustache

And I ain't got no season pass

All I got's a Jupiter... Jupiter... Jupiter...

It's like a bad show

She is lookin' through me

If you were me, then you'd be

Screamin' "Someone trip me!"

As I fail miserably,

Tryin' to get the girl all the band nerds want.

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

(There she goes again)

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

(There she goes again)

She's the girl all the band nerds want!

She's the girl all the band nerds want!


	50. Following the Director

Following The Director

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Following The Leader" from Peter Pan

*

Following the director, the director, the director

We're following the director wherever he may go

We won't be home till morning, till morning

We won't be home till morning

Because he told us so

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ee do tee day

We're out for a high

And this is the game we play:

Come on, join in

And march your troubles away

With a teedle ee dum

A teedle do tee day

We're following the director, the director, the director

We're following the director wherever he may go

We won't be home till morning, till morning

We won't be home till morning

Because he told us so

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ee do tee day

We march along and

These are the words we say:

Tee dum, tee dee,

A teedle deelde deeay

Oh, a teedle ee dum

A teedle ee do tee day

Oh, a teedle ee dum

A teedle ee do tee day


	51. Play the Horn

Reviews make me update faster.

And really happy. :)

*

Play the Horn

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid

*

There you see it

Sitting there across the room

It don't get a lot to play

But there's something about it

And you don't know why

But you're dying to try

You wanna play the horn

Yes, you want it

Look at it, you know you do

Possible it wants you too

There is one way to ask it

It don't take a word

Not a single word

Go on and play the horn

Sha la la la la la

My oh my

Look like the boy too shy

Ain't gonna play the horn

Sha la la la la la

Ain't that sad?

Ain't it a shame?

Too bad, he gonna miss the horn

Now's your moment

Floating in a music room

Boy you better do it soon

No time will be better

It don't play a sound

And it won't play a sound

Until you play the horn

Sha la la la la la

Don't be scared

You got the mood prepared

Go on and play the horn

Sha la la la la la

Don't stop now

Don't try to hide it how

You want to play the horn

Sha la la la la la

Float along

And listen to the song

The song say play the horn

Sha la la la la

The music play

Do what the music say

You got to play the horn

You've got to play the horn

You wanna play the horn

You've gotta play the horn

Go on and play the horn


	52. We Are Band Nerds If You Please

I just wanted to thank Mam'zelleCombeferre for your lovely reviews. The funny thing is, the day I got your review about the Great Mouse Detictive was the day after I had rewatched the movie. Ha. Irony.

It was sooo hard for me to find the lyrics for this song, too. The first good link that I found only had the first verse and it was all in text talk! Plz instead of please and they spelt Siamese "siameze". What the hell is the world coming to?

* * *

We Are Band Nerds If You Please

A Band Parody by Artemis J. Halk

Based off the song: "We Are Siamese if you Please" from Lady and the Tramp

*

We are band nerds if you please

We are band nerds if you don't please

We are from a residence of Band

There is no finer nerd than I am

Do you see that thing marching round and round

Maybe we can reach on in and make it trip

If we sneaking up upon it carefully

There will be head for you and a tail for me

We are band nerds if you please

We are band nerds if you don't please

Now we're looking over our new domisile

If we like we stay for maybe quite a while

Mark time hut.......And one, two, three four

Do you hear what I hear an incoming

Where we finding incoming there's sugar near by

And if we look in little school there could be

Plenty of sugar for you and also some for me

We are band nerds if you please

We are band nerds if you don't please

Now we're looking over our new domisile

If we like we stay for maybe quite a while

We are band nerds if you please

We are band nerds if you don't please

We are from a residence of Band

There is no finer nerd than I am

There is no finer nerd than I am

There are no finer nerds than we am


	53. Nerd Like Me

Wow. Two new parodies in one day. Am I awesome or am I awesome?

* * *

Nerd Like Me

A Band Parody by Artemis J. Halk

Based off the song: "Friend Like Me" from Aladdin

*

Well Ali Baba had them forty drum majors

Scheherezad-ie had a thousand students

But master you in luck 'cause in your jacket

You got a brand of music never fails

You got some power in your show now

Some heavy ammunition on your field

You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how

See all you gotta do is rub that met

And I'll say

Mister Aladdin, sir

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order

Jot it down

You ain't never had a nerd like me

No no no

Life is your senior year

And I'm your drum major

C'mon whisper what it is you want

You ain't never had a nerd like me

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on greatness

You're the boss

The king, the director

Say what you wish

It's yours! True dish

How about a little more Mozart?

Have some of show "A"

Try all of show "B"

I'm in the mood to help you dude

You ain't never had a nerd like me

Can your students do this?

Do your students do that?

Do your students pull this out their shako?

Can your students go, poof?

Well, looky here

Can your students go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip

And then make the bad freshie disappear?

So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed

I'm here to answer all your midrehersal prayers

You got me bona fide, certified

You got a teacher for your chare d'affaires

I got a powerful urge to help you out

So what-cha wish? I really wanna know

You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt

Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh

Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three

I'm on the job, you big nabob

You ain't never had a nerd, never had a nerd

You ain't never had a nerd, never had a nerd

You ain't never had a nerd like me

You ain't never had a nerd like me, hah!

* * *

Reviews make me update faster!


	54. Journey to the Band

A note to my anom reviewers...

arashiwriter: Why yes. Yes it is. I think that you're the first person to make a comment on the original of that song, too. Thanks for your review!

Mam'zelleCombeferre: How about a second shout out? You should get an account- all you need is an email account. Thanks for your review!

* * *

Journey to the Band

A Band Parody by Artemis J. Halk

Based off the song: "Journey to the Past" from Anastasia

*

Met, don't fail me now!

Music, don't desert me!

Don't turn back now that we're here

People always say

Life is full of choices

No one ever mentions fear!

Or how a show can seem so long

How the field can seem so vast

Music see me through

Mat I'm trusting you

On this journey...to the band

Somewhere down this show

I know someone's waiting

Years of dreams just can't be wrong

Arms will open wide

I'll be safe and wanted

Fin'lly home where I belong

Well, starting here, my life begins

Starting now, I'm learning fast

Music see me through

Met I'm trusting you

On this journey...to the band

Met don't fail me now!

Music don't desert me!

Home, Love, Family

There was once a time

I must have had them too

Home, Love, Family

I will never be complete

Until I find you...

One step at a time,

One hope, then another

Who knows where this show may go

Back to who I was

On to find my future,

Things my feet still need to know

Yes, let this be a sign!

Let this school be mine!

Let it lead me to my band

Music see me through

Met I'm trusting you

To bring me home...

At last!

At last!

Music see me through

Met I'm trusting you

yea...

* * *

For those of you who actually care, I have discovered a nifty way to remember how to spell Anastasia- Ana is the Saint of Asia. Ana St Asia. However, it's not pronounced like that... but... aren't I clever? ... *Shifty eyes.*


	55. Just March

Just a little shout out to my lovely reviewers and those who put this story on their faves list!

* * *

Just March  
A Band Parody by Artemis J. Halk  
Based off the song "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga

*

And One, Convict  
BaBa, oh-oh, eh

I've had a little bit too much, much  
All of the seasons start to rush, start to rush by  
How does he twist the score? Can't find a drink, oh man  
Where is my lyre? I lost my horn, horn

What's going on on the field?  
I love this show baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this band?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just march, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, gonna be okay, m-m-m-march  
March, march, just, j-j-just march

Wish I could shut my band-nerd mouth, oh oh oh-oh  
How'd I turn my jacket inside out? Inside outright  
Control your volume babe, shakos cause headaches they say  
And we're all getting one-plus tonight, oh oh oh-oh

What's going on on the field?  
I love this show baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this band?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just march, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, gonna be okay, m-m-m-march  
March, march, just, j-j-just

When I come through on the band field checkin' out that new score  
Can't believe my eyes, so many students without a flaw  
And I ain't gon' give it up, steady tryin' to pick it up like a horn  
I'ma hit it, I'ma hit it and work and do it until tomorr' yeah

Shawty I can see that you got so much energy  
The way you're twirlin' up them flags 'round and 'round  
And now there's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me  
In the meantime stay and let me watch you clean it up

And march, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm

Just march, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, gonna be okay, m-m-m-march  
March, march, just, j-j-just march

Woo! Let?s go!

Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic  
Got my metronome, it's symphonic  
Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic  
Got my metronome electronic

Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic  
Got my metronome, it's symphonic  
Half psychotic, sick, hypnotic  
Got my metronome electronic

Go! Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle  
I got it, just stay close enough to get it  
Don't slow! March it, clean it, lights on, bleed it  
Spend the lasto  
(I got it)  
In your pocko  
(I got it)

Just march, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm

Just mach, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, spin that flag babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just march, gonna be okay, m-m-m-march  
March, march, just, j-j-just march


	56. Are You Gonna Be My Nerd

Are You Gonna Be My Nerd  
A Parody by Artemis J. Halk  
Based on the song: "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet

*

Go!!

So 1, 2, 3, take your horn and come with me  
because you play so fine  
and I really wanna make you mine.

I say you play so fine  
that I really wanna make you mine.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your steps  
now you don't need that money  
when you play like that, do ya honey?

Big black shako,  
long brown pants,  
she's so sweet  
with her awesome horn solo.

Well I could see,  
you in band with me,  
but you were at another school, yea!  
I know we,  
ain't got much to play,  
before I let you get away, yea!  
I said, are you gonna be my nerd?

Well, so 1,2,3, take your horn and come with me  
because you play so fine  
and I really wanna make you mine.

I say you play so fine  
that I really wanna make you mine.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your steps  
now you don't need that money  
when you play like that, do ya.

Big black shako,  
long brown pants,  
she's so sweet  
with her awesome horn solo.

Well I could see,  
you in band with me,  
but you were at another school, yea!  
I know we,  
ain't got much to play,  
before I let you get away, yea!  
I said, are you gonna be my nerd?

Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!  
I could see,  
you in band with me,  
but you were at another school, yea!  
I know we,  
ain't got much to play,  
before I let you get away, yea!  
Uh, be my nerd.  
Be my nerd.  
Are you gonna be my nerd?! Yea

* * *

Reviews are much loved!


	57. TrumpetBob BlackPants

TrumpetBob BlackPants  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: SpongeBob SquarePants Opening Theme

Director: Are you ready kids?

Students: Sir, yes sir!

Director: I can't hear you...

Students: Sir, yes sir!!

Director: Oh! Who lives in a sock in the band room?

Students: TrumpetBob BlackPants!

Director: Musical and talented and studious is he!

Students: TrumpetBob BlackPants!

Director: If musical nonsense be something you wish...

Students: TrumpetBob BlackPants!

Director: Then be dropped off by his mom and march like a rookie!

Students: TrumpetBob BlackPants!

Director: Ready?

Everybody: TrumpetBob BlackPants! TrumpetBob BlackPants! TrumpetBob BlackPants!

Director: TrumpetBob.... BlackPants! Haha.

* * *

I can't take this song seriously. I'm going to go eat a spoon now.


	58. Heigh Ho

Finally clearing out the file of songs that I never uploaded for one reason or another. Still overrun with Christmas songs, though. Is it to early to put them up? We've already started getting Christmas catalogs in the mail. 0.o

* * *

Heigh Ho  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Heigh Ho" from Snow White

We march march march march march march march in our field the whole night through  
To march march march march march march march is what we really like to do  
It ain't no trick to get good quick  
If you march march march with a tuba or a pic  
In a field! In a field! In a field! In a field!  
Where a million students shine!

We march march march march march march march from early morn till night  
We march march march march march march march up everyone in sight  
We march up trophies by the score  
A thousand scores, sometimes more  
But we don't know who we do it 'em for  
We march march march a-march march

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
Heigh-ho

Chorus  
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
It's home from state we go  
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

(Chorus)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho  
Heigh-ho hum

(Chorus three times)

Heigh-ho (until fade)


	59. I Kissed A Nerd

Not really one of my better parodies... but whatever. Maybe someone out there still likes this song...

* * *

I Kissed A Nerd  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry

This was never the way I planned, not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion  
It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you caught my attention

I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
The taste of his cork grease  
I kissed a nerd just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter  
You're my experimental game, just human nature  
It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused, hard to obey

I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
The taste of his cork grease  
I kissed a nerd just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
I liked it

You nerds are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so playable  
Hard to resist, so innocent  
Too good to deny it  
It ain't no big deal, it's harmless

I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
The taste of his cork grease  
I kissed a nerd just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a nerd and I liked it  
I liked it


	60. If You Wanna March

If You Wanna March  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "If You Wanna Dance" by Nobody's Angel

Hey if you wanna march  
Get your body on the field in your hot 'form  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march  
Ooh show me what your gonna do  
Show me how to move if the music hits you  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march

BD is directing our show  
I've waited all night long to get my groove on  
All y'all  
Sitting in the stands  
This is the last call  
So get your...out on the field

Hey if you wanna march  
Get your body on the field in your hot 'form  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march  
Ooh show me what your gonna do  
Show me how to move if the music hits you  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march

Its Friday going into Saturday  
I don't care what you say  
Gonna march this show till the end of half-time  
All y'all  
Sitting in the stands  
Come and join us  
Like we said before get your ass out on the field!

Hey if you wanna march  
Get your body on the field in your hot 'form  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march  
Ooh show me what your gonna do  
Show me how to move if the music hits you  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march

Baby let's march till our bodies can't take no more  
Come on lets march until the beat just takes control  
Need to release all the pressure, so let it go

Hey if you wanna march if wanna march if wanna march  
If you really wanna march really wanna march  
really wanna march really wanna march

Go Danny Danny go Danny Danny go!  
Go Danny Danny go Danny Danny go!!!  
Like we said before get your ass out on the field!!!!!!

If you wanna march come on and get down get down  
get down get down  
If you wanna march come on and get down get down  
get down on the WHOO!!!

Hey if you wanna march  
Get your body on the field in your hot 'form  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march  
Ooh show me what your gonna do  
Show me how to move if the music hits you  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march

BD is directing our show  
I've waited all night long to get my groove on

Gonna march this show till the end of half-time!!!!

Hey if you wanna march  
Get your body on the field in your hot 'form  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march  
Ooh show me what your gonna do  
Show me how to move if the music hits you  
If you really wanna march hey come on  
If you wanna march if you really wanna march


	61. Music in Your Show

Music In Your Show  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Music In Your Soup" from Snow White (This song was not included in the theatrical release of Snow White. It was never animated beyond the pencil stage. You can see it in cleanup animation on the video tape and Laser Disc of Snow White.)

With a trumpet and a pic  
With the music in your soul  
You can cheer things up with the tweet, tweet, bang!  
Of the music in your show

With a blast  
With a step  
Get a wiggle on your chin  
You can make things hum with a tweet, tweet, bang!  
Of the music in your show

Swing that flag  
Gotta keep on twirlin  
Pick up that beat  
Gotta keep on marchin  
Till the show is done  
And your face is drippin'

Let her rip!  
Let her roar!  
To the first and the second  
And the third encore!


	62. Wednesday Morning

Wednesday Morning  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Tuesday Morning" by Michelle Branch

I remember perfect weather  
The way the sky looks when it's dark  
And you were with me  
Content with marching  
So unaware of the school

Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone  
Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Wednesday morning  
Really sucks  
I was finding out  
What to play

I took your picture  
While you were playing  
And then I paced around the room  
If I had known then  
That these scores happen  
Would they have been awarded to us?

Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone  
Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Wednesday morning  
Really sucks  
I was finding out  
What to play

And if you turned around to see me and I was gone  
You should have looked beyond the stadium  
'Cause the crowd was standing up  
The crowd was standing up  
Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone  
Please don't play me a song tonight  
'Cause I don't wanna go  
Wednesday morning  
Really sucks  
I was finding out  
What to play  
What to play  
What to play  
What to play


	63. Sound Crush

Sound Crush  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Cherry Crush" by Nobody's Angel

Every second, every hour, and minute of the show  
I get this crazy hazy feeling, that I can't explain  
Somethin' 'bout the way you march, the way you play, the way you move  
Doesn't matter what I try, my thoughts keep coming back to you

Your music is taking over (is taking over )  
Taking control of me (Taking control)  
And I don't wanna loose that feeling (don't wanna loose that feeling)  
Your sound crush, crushin' all over me

Music rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need  
Never get enough, my sound crush  
Like comin' onto me  
Instant crush, my sound crush  
Your music inspires me  
Give me such a rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need

Intoxicatin', motivatin', make me loose my mind  
Never be a one time thing, 'cuz boy I want it all the time  
The way I feel when I'm alone in the band room at night  
I wish I slept out of my dreams and you could play me a song

You music is taking over (is taking over )  
Taking control of me (Taking control)  
And I don't wanna loose that feeling (don't wanna loose that feeling)  
Your sound crush, crushin' all over me

Music rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need  
Never get enough, my sound crush  
Like comin' onto me  
Instant crush, my sound crush  
Your music inspires me  
Give me such a rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need

Music rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need  
Never get enough, my sound crush  
Like comin' onto me  
Instant crush, my sound crush  
Your music inspires me  
Give me such a rush, my sound crush  
Your music is all I need

Sweet, sweet, sweet... [Repeat 5x]


	64. Once Upon A Show

Once Upon A Show  
A Band Parody by Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song "Once Upon a Dream" from Disney's Sleeping Beauty

I know you, I marched with you once upon a show  
I know you, the gleam of your horn is so familiar a gleam  
Yet I know it's true that music is seldom all it seems  
But if I know you, I know what you'll do  
You'll impress me at once, the way you did once upon a show

But if I know you, I know what you do  
You impress me at once  
The way you did once upon a show

I know you, I marched with you once upon a show  
I know you, the gleam of your horn is so familiar a gleam  
Yet I know it's true that music is seldom all it seems  
But if I know you, I know what you'll do  
You'll impress me at once, the way you did once upon a show


	65. My Scores

My Scores  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas

What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside your school?  
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my score.  
My score, my score, my score, my score, my score,  
My score, my score, my score, my lovely little awards (Check it out)

I drive these nerds crazy,  
I do it on the daily,  
They treat me really nicely,  
They buy me all these ices.  
Wisemann and Del Sol,  
Vito and RS Berkeley  
Amati, they be sharin'  
All their money got me playin' fly  
Teacher I ain't askin,  
They say they love my music 'n,  
Cecilio, E.M. Winston,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't taken  
We can keep on marcin'  
I keep on demonstrating.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)  
You love my shiny awards (love),  
My score, my score, my score (love),  
My scores they got you,

She's got me spending.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside that school?  
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my score.  
What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside that head?  
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream  
Make you scream, make you scream.  
Cos of my score (ha), my score, my score, my score (what).  
My score, my score, my score (ha), my lovely shiny awards (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the game.  
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.  
I could be your student, you can be my director  
Let's spend time not money.  
I mix your flute wit my sousaphone,  
Flute, flute tuba,  
Mix your flute with my sousaphone, flute, flute riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really good,  
The boys they wanna play wit me.  
They always marchin' next to me,  
Always playin' next to me,  
Tryin' a feel my score, score.  
Lookin' at my award, award.  
You can look but you can't touch it,  
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,  
You don't want no drama,  
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama  
So don't pull on my horn boy,  
You ain't my director, boy,  
I'm just tryn'a march boy,  
And get a good score.

My score, my score, my score, my score,  
My score, my score, my score, my score, my score, my score.  
My lovely shiny awards (awards)  
My lovely shiny awards (awards)  
My lovely shiny awards (awards)  
On the wall and on the shelf (awards)  
My lovin' got you,

She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside that school?  
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my score.  
What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside that head?  
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream  
Make you scream, make you scream.  
What you gon' do with all that music?  
All that music inside that school?  
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off this score.  
What you gon' do wit all those scores?  
All those scores hangin' on that wall?  
I'ma make, make, make, make you work  
Make you work, work, make you work.

(A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, a-ha) [x4]

She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

[Will.]  
So real [x17]

* * *

Just a note on those instrument brands... I have no idea what's a good brand or anything... I just went online and picked names that nearly fit. I don't endorse them- in fact, until I did this, I hadn't even heard of those names!


	66. Belle

Belle

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast

[Belle]

Little band it's a quiet school.

Everyday like the one before.

Little band full of little nerds, waking up to say.

[Student #1]

Hey!

[Student #2]

What's happening?

[Student #3]

Did you see American Idol last night?

[Student #4]

Forget Idol, what about Survivor?

[Student #5]

Un... Need coffee...

[Belle]

There goes the drum major with his podium like always.

The same old music and routine to practice.

Every morning just the same since the morning that I came,

To this poor provintial school.

[Director]

Good Morning Belle!

[Belle]

G'morning sir!

[Director]

Where you off to?

[Belle]

The music library...

I just finished the most wonderful song,

Featuring the flutes and the saxes and...

[Director]

That's nice. Marie! The dot charts! Hurry up!

[Group of Students #1]

Look there she goes that girl is strange no question.

Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

[Student #1]

Never part of any crowd.

[Student #3]

Cuz her heads up on some cloud.

[Students]

No denying she's a funny student, that Belle.

[Student #5]

Hey!

[Student #3]

What's up?

[Student #5]

How is your sister?

[Student #4]

Hey!

[Student #2]

What's up?

[Student #4]

How is your mother?

[Student #1]

I need a reed!

[Student #2]

That drum is broken!

[Belle]

There must be more than this provincial school.

[Ast. Director]

Ah! Belle!

[Belle]

Good Morning! I've come to return the score I've borrowed!

[Ast. Director]

Finished already?

[Belle]

Oh I couldn't put it down. Got anything new?

[Ast. Director]

Not since yesterday!

[Belle]

That's alright. I'll borrow...this one!

[Ast. Director]

That one?! But you've played through it twice in band!

[Belle]

Well it's my favorite! High notes, sixteenth notes, trills, and so much more!

[Ast. Director]

Well if you like it all that much, it's yours.

[Belle]

But sir!

[Ast. Director]

I insist.

[Belle]

Well thank you! Thank you very much!

[Group Of Students #2]

Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.

[Group Of Students #1]

With a dreamy far off look.

[Group Of Students #2]

And her nose stuck in a score.

[Students]

What a puzzle to the rest of us, this Belle.

[Belle]

Oh! Isn't this amazing? It's my favorite because you'll see. Here's where you have to triple tongue. But the audience won't discover that that's the trick til measure three!

[Student #3]

Now It's no wonder that her name means beauty, her music has got no parallel.

[Student #1]

But behind that fair facade, I'm afraid she's rather odd.

Very different from the rest of us.

[Students]

She's nothing like the rest of us. Yes different from the rest of us, is Belle.

[Lafue]

Wow! You didn't miss a note Gaston! Your the greatest musician in the whole world.

[Gaston]

I know.

[Lafue]

No score written stands a chance against you. And no girl for that matter.

[Gaston]

It's true Lafue. And I've got my sights set on the one.

[Lafue]

The composers daughter?!

[Gaston]

She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to ask to homecoming!

[Lafue]

But shes...

[Gaston]

The most beautiful girl in band. That makes her the best! And don't I deserve the best!?

[Lafue]

Well of corse, I mean you do, I mean...

[Gaston]

Right from the moment when I met her, saw her, I said she's gorgeous and I fell...in a gal as old as she, who is beautiful as me. So I'm making plans to rule and ask Belle.

[Gaston Groupies]

Look there he goes, isn't he great? Mister Gaston, oh he's so awesome!

Bestill my heart, I'm hardly breathing. He's such a talented, tall, dark, and handsome brute.

[Student #1]

Hey, Gaston!

[Gaston]

Pardon...

[Belle]

Good day.

[Student #2]

Hey, watch it!

[Student #3]

You call this music?

[Student #4]

What a lovely piccolo!

[Student #1]

I need a met...

[Student #5]

Ten measures!

[Student #1]

One yard!

[Gaston]

'scuse me!

[Director]

I'll get the metronome...

[Gaston]

Please let me through!

[Student #6]

This drill set -

[Student #7]

Those uniforms -

[Student #6]

It's a rank uniform!

[Student #7]

My new locker smells...

[Group #2]

Madame's mistaken.

[Group #1]

Well, maybe so

[Students]

Hello!

Good morning!

[Belle]

There must be more than this provincial school!

[Gaston]

Just watch,

I'm going to make Belle my date!

[Students]

Look there she goes

The girl is strange but special

A most peculiar band nerd!

[Group #1]

It's a pity and a sin

[Group #2]

She doesn't quite fit in

[Students]

'Cause she really is a funny girl

A beauty but a funny girl

She really is a funny girl

That Belle!


	67. Just Around the Page Turn

Just Around the Page Turn

A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk

Based off of the song: "Just Around the Riverbend" from Pocahontas

What I love most about music is:

You can't play the same song twice

The music's always changing, always flowing

But people, I guess, can't live like that

We all must pay a price

To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing

What's around the page turn

Waiting just around the page turn

I look once more

Just around the page turn

Beyond the score

Where the flutes play true

Don't know what for

What I dream the day might send

Jut around the page turn

For me

Coming for me

I feel it there beyond those measures

Or right behind these off beats

Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming

For a handsome sturdy boyfriend

Who builds handsome sturdy grades

And never dreams that something might be coming?

Just around the page turn

Just around the page turn

I look once more

Just around the page turn

Beyond the score

Somewhere past measure two

Don't know what for ...

Why do all my dreams extend

Just around the page turn?

Just around the page ...

Should I choose the easiest course

Easy as playing a drum?

Should I date Kocoum?

Is all my playing at an end?

Or do you still wait for me, Music Giver

Just around the page turn?


	68. Poor Unfortunate Nerds

And... A happy turkey-day to every American who is still around at this point. I wish you all good health!

* * *

Poor Unfortunate Nerds  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from the Little Mermaid

Director  
The only way to get what you want is to become a band nerd yourself.

Student  
Can you do that?

Director  
My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.  
To help unfortunate band students like yourself.  
Poor nerds with no one else to turn to.

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty  
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a bitch  
But you'll find that nowadays  
I've mended all my ways  
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch  
To this  
And I fortunately know a little music  
It's a talent that I always have possessed  
And dear lady, please don't laugh  
I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)

Poor unfortunate nerds  
In pain, in need  
This one longing to be better  
That one wants to get the part  
And do I help them?  
Yes, indeed  
Those poor unfortunate nerds  
So sad, so true  
They come flocking to my office  
Crying, "Songs, Ursula, please!"  
And I help them!  
Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice  
Someone couldn't pay the price  
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the field  
Yes I've had the odd complaint  
But on the whole I've been a saint  
To those poor unfortunate nerd

Have we got a deal?

Student  
If I become a band nerd, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.

Director  
But you'll have your music, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh.  
Oh, and there is one more thing.  
We haven't discussed the subject of payment.

Student  
But I don't have-

Director  
I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!  
What I want from you is - your voice.

Student  
But without my voice, how can I-

Director  
You'll have your air, your pretty hands.  
And don't underestimate the importance of triplet tounging, ha!

The teachers up there don't like a lot of blabber  
They think a student who gossips is a waste of space!  
Yet in band it's much preferred for the students not to say a word  
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?  
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation  
True teachers avoid it when they can  
But they dote and swoon and fawn  
On a student who's withdrawn  
It's she who holds her tongue who gets first chair

Come on you poor unfortunate nerds  
Go ahead!  
Make your choice!  
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day  
It won't cost much  
Just your voice!  
You poor unfortunate nerds  
It's sad but true  
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet  
You've got the pay the toll  
Take a gulp and take a breath  
And go ahead and sign the scroll  
Yamaha, Jupiter, now I've got her, boys  
The boss is on a roll  
This poor unfortunate nerd

Beluga sevruga  
Come winds of the Caspian Flute Choir  
Larengix glaucitis  
Et max laryngitis  
La voce to me

Now, sing!

Student  
Aah...

Director  
Keep singing!


	69. NERD

I'll probably start posting Christmas songs up soon. I have a bunch of them that I never got around to doing from... who knows when? XD

* * *

N.E.R.D.  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "U.G.L.Y." by Daphne & Celeste

[Student 1] OK! I'm a guard girl now!  
[Chorus]  
[1&2] N.E.R.D.  
You ain't got no alibi you a nerd  
Eh! Hey! You a nerd [X4]

[1] I saw you walking down the hall just the other day  
[1] I didn't see your damage from that far away  
[1] I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming  
[1] You walked up to me with your trumpet a gleaming  
[1] Your hair was all frizzy and your lips were a mess  
[1] I thought it was a sack but it's your favourite uniform  
[1] You hurt the grass' feelings and the birds all flew  
[1] I don't mean to insult you  
[1] Oh wait! Yes I do.

[2] Your music is yellow, your reeds covered in mold  
[2] This is only your first season you look its your last  
[1] When music was handed out you were last in line  
[1] Your shoes look like where the sun don't shine  
[2] Did you fall off the stage and land on your head  
[2) Or did a drummer march over your face instead  
[1] There ain't no pill cos you ain't ill

[2&1] You're a nerd!  
[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. You ain't got no alibi you a nerd eh! Hey! You a nerd [X2]

[2] What you really need is to wear some makeup  
[2] And book that music lesson fast - (Girl)  
[1] You're scary - You're outta tune I heard about you  
[1] You're the main attraction in the science lab  
[2] You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab  
[2] When you wear a yellow uniform people shout out "Cab!"  
[1] (So funny)

[2] You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big  
[2] And with hair like that you should be wearing a shako!  
[1] Mr. Smith, remember him? I never knew that you had a twin  
[2] You can't disguise your googly eyes  
[2] In the Miss Band Nerd pageant you win first prize  
[1] Yo mama says you a nerd -  
[2&1] You a nerd!

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. You ain't got no alibi you a nerd eh! Hey! You a nerd [X2]  
[2]  
Get busy [X9]  
[1] Yo mama says you a nerd  
[2] Get busy  
[1] Yo mama says you a nerd  
[2] Get busy  
[1] Yo mama says you a nerd  
[2] Get busy  
[2&1] You're a nerd!

[2&1] N.N.N.N.  
[D] Now I feel like a cheerleader...

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. You ain't got no alibi you a nerd eh! Hey! You a nerd [X2]

[2] Flute player  
[1] Camel back  
[2] Trumpet lips  
[2&1] Nerd!

[1] Crab step  
[2] Clarinet fingers  
[1] Drums like Bubba  
[2&1] Nerd!

[2] Shako hair  
[1] Reed licker  
[2] Band nerd  
[2&1] Nerd!

[1] Broken horn  
[2] Limp feather  
[2&1] Musical genius - nerd!

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. You ain't got no alibi you a nerd eh! Hey! You a nerd [X1]

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. - [1] You could make a band director cry

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. - [2] Like a drop out chased by the school board

[2&1]  
N.E.R.D. [X6]  
N.E.R.D. You ain't got no alibi you a nerd!


	70. Joy to the Band

I'm looking for someone who speaks an inkling of Spanish to help me with a translation of Feliz Navidad. Help!

* * *

Joy To The Band  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Joy to the World"

Joy to the band! The time is come.  
Let use receive our score  
Let every heart  
Prepare the room  
And freshmen and seniors sing  
And freshmen and seniors sing  
And freshmen and freshmen and seniors sing

Joy to the band, the director reigns  
Let trumpets their songs employ  
While fields and yards  
Grass, stands and lights  
Repeat the sounding joy  
Repeat the sounding joy  
Repeat, Repeat, the sounding joy

Joy to the band with truth and grace  
And makes the schools prove  
The glories of His righteousness  
And wonders of His love  
And wonders of His love  
And wonders and wonders of His love

No more will fall and sorrow grow,  
Nor thorns infest the ground;  
He'll come and make the blessings flow  
Far as the curse was found,  
Far as the curse was found,  
Far as, far as the curse was found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,  
And gives to schools proof  
The glories of His righteousness,  
And wonders of His love;  
And wonders of His love;  
And wonders, wonders of His love.

Rejoice! Rejoice in the Most High,  
While music spreads abroad  
Like awards that glitter on the wall,  
And ever worship band,  
And ever worship band,  
And ever, and ever worship band.


	71. Carol of the Pics

Still looking for that Spanish translator...

* * *

Carol of the Pics  
A Band Parody By Artemis J. Halk  
Based off of the song: "Carol of the Bells"

Hark! how the pics  
Sweet silver pic  
All seem to say,  
"Throw cares away."  
A new season is here  
Bringing good cheer  
To freshies and vets  
Good and the bad

Ding, dong, ding, dong  
That is their song  
With joyful ring  
All playing  
One seems to hear  
Songs of good cheer  
From ev'rywhere  
Filling the air

Oh how they trill,  
Raising the sound,  
O'er stand and stage,  
Telling their tale,  
Gaily they play  
While instruments sing  
Songs of good cheer  
A new season is here  
Have a good, good, good, season  
Have a good, good, good, season

On, on they send  
On without end  
Their joyful tone  
To ev'ry judge

[Repeat from the beginning]

Ding, dong, ding, dong.


End file.
